Golden rules Quran teaches related to parenting
A Muslim parent’s training duty is not confined only to the religious knowledge training of the child but also to equip him/her in self protection, sporting activities and very proper worldly education. All these abilities would make the child live a healthy and confident life which is the utmost requirement of the religion from a parent.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said a virtuous child is a fragrant flower from the flowers of Heaven. Once he also said “Be kind to your children, and excel in this kindness”. Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also advised the parents to teach their children the art of swimming and shooting. A Muslim child is the entire responsibility of his parents until he reaches his adult age. It is the duty of the parents to feed him with the best of foods, cover him with the best affordable clothes, give the best possible place to sleep and relax. A very stable, peaceful living environment and surrounding for a child is also the responsibility of the parent. Islamic parents cannot suppress their daughters and give preference to their sons for only being male gender. A child whether a boy or a girl, parents are not supposed to discriminate between them in any respect and provide all of their offspring with similar best possible facilities, love and respect as all their children possess these rights in full. Although for all these struggles and efforts there is in fact a very very large reward for the parents from the Almighty Allah SWT. Raising kid is a great concern of both Muslims and the non Muslims throughout the world.
There are a lot of guidance to Islamic parenting from Allah SWT revealed in the Holy Quran and from the Sunnahs of the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), but there are few things from the Quran that are a real help and guidance with a lot of authority in raising kids. The kids raised so will be comfort to their parent’s eyes and also great slaves of Allah SWT. Children to parents are their entire treasury and for them they could be anything and could do anything. Parents have a special relationship with their children. In fact from the moment one gets married and has children probably a large part of the life there after is for the children, because the parents care about them and their schooling, their career and their future. The parents can go to any level of sacrifice for their children for three main reasons. First reason is the love bonding between the parent and the child. The second reason being that in old age when parents are themselves weak and need help their children would take care of them the way they were taken care off when they were young and helpless. The third reason is that as a Muslim once we die the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) informed us all the good actions come to an end except for three and one of those three is our righteous children that we leave behind who pray for us after we are dead. So for our own good if we give them good guidance now it will not only help the child but also us while we are alive and even after we are dead.
For a Muslim parent there are some key parenting ideas to bringing up their children. These key parenting ideas are the ones that are going to help us and our kids not only in this world but also in the hereafter. The children would become proper practicing Muslims thus helping themselves their parents and the rest of the humanity.
Connecting our kids to Allah SWT
First of the key in raising great Islamic kids are “connecting our kids to Allah SWT”. This would prove to be a single most important strategy in raising kids successfully and islamically.
What is meant by “connecting our kids to Allah SWT”. It means that let us make the number one reason behind everything they do in life is for the sake of Allah SWT i.e. whatever actions they are performing are solely for sake of Allah SWT. Any decision they make, any dress they wear, any love or hatred they have even their friendships and enmities’ are also for the sake of Allah SWT. This means before doing anything in life the question that should come in the mind of a Muslim child be that how Allah SWT wants me to do this thing, would Allah SWT like me if I did this thing this way. We see from our daily life experience whether Muslims or non Muslims everybody cares about what other people think them. For example when our kids are young they care about what their parents think about them i.e. whatever these kids do they keep looking at their parents and check whether their parents like those acts and if they find the answer is ‘yes’ they keep doing it and also find more enjoyment in it. What a Muslim parent should do is connect his off spring to Allah SWT such that the child is all the time looking at the Almighty Allah SWT. He is always questioning himself what is Allah SWT taking this action of mine as, would Allah SWT like me more for doing this or else. As the kids grow and play with their friends they care for them and also what friends think about them. If a child’s friend in school is having a hair style and the kid feels it cool, the kid is also going to have the style soon. The kids of this age think about what their friends are thinking. What a Muslim parent should do is before the kid thinks about what their peers like or dislike they should consider first and foremost how Allah SWT sees him before his peers.
Connection between our children and Allah SWT
Connection between our children and Allah SWT is simple and revealed in the Holy Quran and the Sunnahs of the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). It is simple, whatever the parents do in their life and if the children are watching, then the parent always should talk about that and explain them that they did it for the sake of Allah SWT because by doing this Allah SWT would love them more and if they are leaving something it is only to please Allah SWT. This practice of connecting the child to Allah SWT is revealed in the Surah Luqman, in the Holy Quran in a very absorbing way. Luqman the Father, in the surah speaks to his son. In this short passage (verses 14 to 19) in which Luqman talks to his son all the key islamically parenting ideas are hidden. From these verses special consideration should be given to the way Luqman addresses his son. In the verse 16 Luqman says to his son “oh my son, if there was the weight of a mustard seed, hidden somewhere inside the rocks or the heavens skies Almighty Allah SWT will bring that on the day of judgment i.e. nothing can hide from Allah SWT because verily Allah SWT is fully aware of everything very small or very big. In the verses in is to be considered how always Luqman is talking to his son. Luqman tells his son to be aware of whatever he did. He advices him not to do anything wrong because Allah SWT is watching him. Whenever Luqman says his son to do something he is always connecting his son to Allah SWT. When a child bears in mind all the time that he is being watched continuously by someone very powerful it is quite clear that individual will be on the right track. In the following verse Luqman says to his son “do not turn your face away from people in arrogance nor walk on the earth in show off way because verily Allah SWT does not like people who are exultant and show off. Muslim parents should follow the same path so that their children are also connected to the Almighty Allah SWT.
Development of a strong bond of love between the parent and the child
The second key that would help a parent raise his children islamically is “to develop a strong bond of love between the parent and the child”. If this love develops between the parent and child then there would be a very soothing and comfortable environment for both the parents and the children. During the time when parents turn old the children are going to take good care of them. The verses of the Holy Quran from the same Surah Luqman teaches us about how to develop this relationship. In the verse Luqman says to his son “Oh my little son” and he does not say “oh my son”. These special words showed the love that Luqman had for his son and the way he used these words to develop in his son for him. Luqman’s son due to this love, mercy, care and compassion would have definitely developed the sense that my dad is not here to harm me but would only love me.
Once a parent has developed these sentiments in the hearts of the children then they have achieved the goal of their life. Their children would be the most calm and sound practicing Muslims of the world.
Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) often talked about the children both boy’s and girl’s and said “O Muslims, O fathers and mothers, O my followers, be kind and compassionate towards children, for someone who is not kind to children has no place amongst the Muslims.”